10 Things You Should Know About Your Kids + Divorce
- You Are Getting Divorced, Your Children Aren’t.
Cruel things said about your spouse in front of your children can have a lasting effect. Whenever you’re about to say something hurtful about the other party, give yourself time to think before you speak.
- Your Divorce Is About Finding the Right Solution for Your Family.
While there are many issues to resolve in a typical divorce, consider the consequences when you begin to think in terms of “winning” and “losing.”
- Think Through the Important Decisions.
Resist impulse decisions and consider potential consequences.
- Prepare for the Future.
Work hard to not get hung up on relatively insignificant matters, instead, look at the overall picture of your family’s future and choose your battles carefully.
- Consider Other Options Rather Than Court.
Ironic that an attorney would suggest this, but consider a more collaborative divorce, where both parties can work to the common goal of a divorce, while agreeing to avoid court, if at all possible.
- Court Situations Are Stressful – For Everyone.
Which brings us back to #5, consider a divorce path that involves collaboration, rather than the costly option of a divorce trial – which can be long and difficult.
- Each Divorce Situation is Unique.
Although many well-meaning friends and relatives may share their own divorce “battle stories,” realize that YOUR family needs you to make well-thought out decisions which will benefit everyone. The experiences of others can be misleading and irrelevant, or just plain dangerous.
- Make an Inventory of All Furniture, Valuable Items and Copy Important Documents.
Very often disputes arise during a divorce over items of value. Be sure to have your asset inventory, complete with purchase details (if possible) as well as pictures. Having your own copy of all important documents can save a lot of time during mediations as well.
- Be Honest With Your Attorney.
In order to provide you with the best possible outcome, your divorce attorney needs to be completely aware of all key facts in your case. This is not the time to hide information you feel may be unimportant – let your attorney decide.
- Manage Your Outcome Expectations.
Throughout the divorce process, be sure to give yourself a “reality check.” While issues and challenges arise during the negotiations, remember the needs of your children, and how you see your future with them. Often a quick refocus on the most important aspect of your marriage – your children – will help keep your expectations from riding the divorce rollercoaster of emotions.
